I am in the “in between” . . .
The time between the beginning of the new year and the beginning of another semester. The time between the end of a government that gave me hope and the beginning of a government that riddles me with fear. The time between the person I was, and the person I have yet to become.
The in between.
I sit here and think of all the things I should be doing. Writing. Organizing. Creating something new. Making connections with people to help me build another life. Looking for more work to help us afford the life we have, and live the life we dream of living.
But I am also in between dreams. I am in between words. I have many stories yet to tell, but they will not speak to me. I have many ideas wanting to grow, and they lie silent. I have many ideas waiting to grow into reality, but they lie fallow in the in between.
I am in between myself and who I want to be.
Sometimes it is lonely here. I listen to the voices of those who are not in between, and wonder will I ever find the other side? Will I ever make it through?
But here is the thing about the in between. It is never permanent. It can’t be because otherwise the “in between” would really be the end. It is a moment between possibilities. It is precious time where learning happens, where the body reinvigorates itself, where time becomes meaningless, and thoughts can wander until they find a home.
I am in the in between, but slowly I will find my way through it.